wordslacedwithgold™

when people put me and this word as synonyms ,

a part of me shuts down ..

it took me awhile to really step aside and realize ..

just because someone says something out loud doesn’t make it true.

I reflected on all of the instances someone has labeled me selfish ..

from parent, friend, family, romantically, platonically ..

and in 9/10 situations ..

being selfish was me choosing myself ..

however , I was to blame in most instances

being a people pleaser (always willing and able)

had a created such a comfortable space for ppl to see me as reliable

but unreliable once ..

“NO” was involved ..

over time I’m learning ,

selfish is not synonymous with ..

“I can not handle this at the moment”

“I can’t respond right away”

“I can’t show up for you and myself”

“I can’t come, I have a prior obligation”

“N O” ..

when people are so accustomed to hearing “YES”

hearing “NO” is “besides you” ..

because simply put ..

you have been feeding an ongoing entitlement.

the wake up call is realizing ..

that the people who depend on you saying “YES”

have no problem choosing themselves ..

why do we label choosing ourselves as “SELFISH”

it should be labeled as FULFILLING

because in reality robbing yourself of your well being

to protect everybody else’s peace is selfish.

how is putting others before yourself not selfish to YOU ?

you could be the most nurturing person ..

but we have to nurture ourselves first..

before we can pour out our energy ..

especially if we have lack of .. (we need others who pour into us as well)

I vow to myself to be fully present for me before I bless someone with my presence.

give yourself grace if your mental capacity is you and no one else.

^{I’ve been receiving this message from the universe in so many ways ,}

_{I owe myself way more than I can afford to give.}

SIDEBAR : SELFISH CAN’T COEXIST WITH SELFLESS

_{Tiffany Goldson}

_{– IG : @wordslacedwithgold}